Sunday, July 23, 2017

Oh, I've Got Time Today, Honty... Yaaaaaaaas...

"A winner rebukes and forgives; a loser is too timid to rebuke and too petty to forgive." 


-Sydney J. Harris


I'ma just jump right in & start with the fact that if your success comes at the demise of others, you really ain't winning. That is not what God loves, and you know it... I wish no ill-will on none of these local jokers, but that savage-life bullshit gone get alot of these folks caught up in some awful situations... That saddens me because so many of life's trials and tribulations can be avoided by just making better choices & simply doing what's right... Baby, THAT'S what God loves... 


I had a moment this past week... Ya'll know, I really try to refrain from being involved in stereotypical Facebook shit... The norm: beefing with chicks, beefing with family, beefing with bm/bd, calling folks out & putting them on blast... ALLLLLLLL THAT malarky... I try to use the 'Book as a positive outlet & source of encouragement from seeing others' growth... It's also motivation, baby!!! Lights a fire under your ass every now & then... Show me my opponent!!!!!  (S/O Saline County... Yea, THAT reference is for another day...) But, before I knew ii I was on Facebook getting some things off my chest in a not so-so-positive manor... Just unnecessary shit... But it was OH-SO-NECESSARY & over-due in the very same breath... 


In cultivating self-love within myself, it makes it easy to high-five myself from time-to-time... Hell, I have come a looooong way from this time last year... I mean, yikes... But it hasn't come easily... There have been bumps & bruises, but nothing that I haven't been equipped with from birth to handle at the end of the day... I've learned things about myself, good, bad, & extremely ratchet, that have set the standard for my future growth & development...


My level of of patience AMAZES me sometimes...I really try to believe that everyone has that monumental self-love developmental moment at SOME, point, maybe it just takes some longer to get there than others... That's the "Patient Jennifer" talking right there... But see, "Not-So-Patient Jennifer" is like, "Nah, f*** that... I'm not goin'... Oh, I've got TIIIIIME today, chile..." That one has NO understanding for reasons, excuses, words, cat, dog, NATHANIEL!!! Yea, see, I can't go that route in life anymore... That's what some folks want for me to do, EXPECT for me to do... I'm straight on that... So, good prevails over evil & I remain in this productively patient place that I've been blessed to experience...


That's what I'VE got time for these days... Just doing something different... No matter curve ball or disrespectful offers are thrown my way, I'll continue to handle them with strength & grace... Chin up, head held hella high... No matter WHAT I've got going on, who did it, & what for, I always want my babies proud of their mother... That's who I've got time for...


Welcome back to "The Upgrade Experience", ya'll... Thanks for your patience... 


'Til next time... XoXoXo

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The Numbers Game

"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul." - Samuel Ullman


How many times have you looked at the clock so far today? Be honest... I'm sure it's been WAY more times than you would care to admit... How many times today alone have you felt rushed or hurried? I mean, it's only 11:30 in the morning my way, and I already feel like my kids will be getting out of school in a minute & homework is gonna need to get done... Numbers, ya'll... Those digits on the clock and on the calendar can be absolutely nerve-wrecking sometimes... The constant, never-ending countdown... But, to WHAT, though?????

I'm constantly asking myself, "Where has the time gone?" Only to be left with the same answer, "Away, hell..." LoL... I mean, seriously... It's gone & I can't get it back... There is no do-over or rewind button... The clock keeps ticking and the days roll forward... However, that doesn't mean that I have to be obsessed with the clock & with keeping time.. I'm realizing that my constant quest to do things in a "timely" manner (or so I thought) has actually gotten me a bit off track... When life got away from me, became a bit much to handle, I only focused on how long it's been taking me to get to where I want to go, not the fact that I'm headed that way...See, that's what it all boils down to, sweetheart... Where are you GOING????? I'm not worried about how long it's going to take you to get there, my friends... Keep that number to yourself... I just need to know that you're going somewhere.

I recently got caught up in the fact that I'm getting older... Yaaaaaaaaaaaas, honey... This spring chicken looked in the mirror, saw a few grays, and panicked on the cool... I'm not in the 20's club anymore, and 40 is creeping up on the kid with the quickness. But, guess what? There's not a single missed opportunity from my "younger" years that I can't find an equivalent for in the here and now... It's just a matter of believing in myself, going out there, and GETTING it... Age really just is a number, ya'll... You can be on any end of the number spectrum & deal with the same issues... Folks need to understand that you can experience struggle, triumph, loss, growth, & love at ANY age... And know that just because someone is older than you, it doesn't mean that they have their shit together, and someone who's younger than you isn't necessarily immature or not on your "level".

Numbers do lie, ya'll... Stop letting Yo Gotti & Lil Wayne make you think differently... Those numbers don't define you, though... You can be great at ANY age, on ANY given day of the week, baby... Play the game of LIFE instead of the numbers game, and I guarantee you'll come out winning every time...

'Til next time... XoXoXo

Monday, September 8, 2014

Clean Your Mirror

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”  - Mark Twain

Tooooooooo often, many of us base our image of ourselves from the perception of others.  We don't really try to do that, but it happens that way.  We let the opinions of others distort our view, the most important view. In doing so, we lose focus in an unclean mirror, a mirror smudged with judgment, disappointment, & failed attempts. But, ohhhhhhh what a little cleaning will do!!!

Be brutally honest about where you are in life right now... Is this where you planned on being 10 years ago? For alot of us, that answer is "no"... That's cool, though... We all have the power to live the life that we want, believe it or not. How did you get to the place where you are now? What is keeping you from living the life that you desire?

When you answer those questions, thing become a little more clear.  Now, think of some of things that people have said about you... Is there any truth to what's been said negatively? Now, don't get it twisted... You should NEVER get caught up in what people say about you, but sometimes the viewpoints from those close to us can be dead on. Look closer into that mirror so that you can really see what's going on with yourself.

Ok, think of all of your positive attributes... What can you do to amplify them? How can they be brought to the forefront to be showcased and put to good use? This is what you build from.  Accept that goodness that's in you and grow stronger from that.  Don't look at who or what you WERE, but visualize yourself as God called you to be. That person that you see in the mirror is greatness staring back at you and you ain't even know it...

Sometimes, it just takes a little cleaning, y'all... The blur that's caused from life's foolery can really throw you off, but don't stay thrown off.  Examine yourself, commit to being a better you, stand on that, & upgrade in every area of your life... I promise you, it really is as easy as it sounds.

'Til next time... XoXoXo

Monday, August 18, 2014

Needful Things

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need." - Mick Jagger

As humans, we are in constant need... Even when we think we don't need anything, we oftentimes feel that we do... It's a never-ending cycle of needs being met and new needs arising... But it's not an issue of you possibly needing something... The issue is, exactly what do you feel that you need and how relevant is that need to your everyday living? And what can you do to insure that need is met consistently?

Now, I can't even front... Over the years, there's been ALOT of stuff that I became mentally trained to think that I needed... Sooooooo much unnecessary bullshit, ya'll... I swear... LoL... I mean, c'mon... In reality, no one NEEDS to have their nails done in the salon every 2 weeks, no one NEEDS a new pair of pumps every week, no one NEEDS to eat out 3 times a week... I can go on and on with this, man... There are other needs we could explore, but we'll save those for another blog, you dig... (insert slick grin here) These are all luxuries that we afford ourselves, sometimes even when we really can't afford them... But, I BET you we all NEED to get that car note & insurance paid on time, we're gonna NEED gas to get us from point A to point B, we NEED lights & water, we NEED certain elements to live comfortably & productively in our society...

However, it can't be overlooked that our spiritual self has certain needs that have to be fulfilled, as well... A connection with someone greater than ourselves is necessary to continue pushing daily... A belief and a faith in someone who loves us & cares for us more than we care for ourselves can propel us into a place that we never thought that we could go... That's need, my friends... Raw & uncut need...

Establishing a solid spiritual well in which you can draw from is the essential key in taking care of yourself & getting what you need... It is the foundation of your upgrade... See, even when I'm in REAL need, I can draw from my well & sustain until its met... I can keep myself from resorting to foolery or becoming overwhlemed to the point of stress... And just like that, things fall into place, loves...

I'm telling you what I know... ;)

'Til next time... XoXoXo


Monday, July 7, 2014

Cry Me a River... Swim Into the Unknown

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..." - Dr. Seuss 

Last night, I cried... HARD... I cried for my mother and my father... I cried for my friends who are going through... I cried for my marriage and for loves lost... I cried for every hurt that my children may have ever experienced... I cried for the future & the uncertainty of it... I cried, ya'll...

And then I wiped my tears away and exhaled... I didn't feel bad about the fact that I had cried... Crying has a tendency to make me feel "weak' sometimes... I don't like to feel weak... This time, however, I felt relieved... I also knew that it wouldn't be the last time I cried, and I'm okay with that...

It's important to stand on some kind of faith KNOWING that after the tears lies hope... There lies a new day, a second chance... There's so much tragedy going on in this world... I lost my mama almost a month ago, but since then I've witnessed so many friends & acquaintances lose loves one's as well... Some to senseless acts of violence...  But from every loss, every tear shed in the face of crisis, something good comes from it... Families are brought together. relationships are mended, a new focus is pulled forward... A more positive focus...

As TIRED as I was after all that damned crying, I felt a fire inside that wouldn't even let me sleep... And that fire is what I'm using to propel me into the next phase of living... Your tears can lead to a most ultimate upgrade, my friends... So shed them and move on...

'Til next time... XoXoXo

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Situationships...

"We've all had situationships... Good sex, bad relationships... " - Fabolous

Okay, so I feel a certain way about music... Like, for REAL... A single verse can capture the ENTIRE essence of what a person is feeling at any given moment n time... Words against beats... Lost in the sound, the emotion... It's amazing how you can hear a song & think,"Damn, have they been looking through my window? Reading my emails & texts???" Ijs...

For the past few hours, I've have one song on repeat... "Situationships"... Fabolous... His new "The Soul Tape 3" mixtape... Omgosh... Like, for REAL? The story of my life...

I'm very open & honest about my life... My story is my testimony... Everything that I've been through has been necessary for my growth... What's scaring me though is that after all the bullshit, I've become the ULTIMATE realist... I don't give ANYONE a chance to even TRY to sell me a wolf ticket... I look at every situation with the top-factor involved: HUMAN NATURE... Human nature always ending up trumping every bit of possible logic... LoL... Sad, but true... Two people can be in a seemingly happy relationship, but behind the smoke- screen, there's complete misery... Why do people choose to live this existence? If you KNOW that you could possibly have an inclination to go left, why even bother setting someone else up for the okey-doke?

I have trust issues... #do... It is what it is... But, I also have a sincere heart... A gift & a curse... With that being said, I make no apologies for the way that I am now... I make no apologies for the fact that I don't take dudes OR chicks seriously when they shoot their shot at me... I'm about action... Shut your mouth & SHOW me... Until then, I'll continue to answer calls & texts when I please & move around as I see fit... "Why have someone laying with me every night when they just gone be lying every night?" It sounds messed up, but it's REAL!!!! I'm not bashing relationships in ANY WAY... I believe that ONE day, someone will be able to handle me & my sense of realism... One day... But until then, I'm not gonna bullshit anyone... And I sure won't let anyone bullshit me...

I guess with all these words you're reading, I just want y'all to check your "situationships"... What are you going into 2014 dealing with? "Titles ain't shit if the story don't match it..." Ain't that the truth??? You can't upgrade until you take a full stock of the people around you and the affect that they have on your life... Be HONEST with yourself about how you feel... That's the only way that you can be honest with anyone else... You can say what you want about me, but you're gonna always say that I tell you like it is... Point. Blank. Period.

Love HARD in 2014... But love HONESTLY... Don't tell anyone what you THINK that they wanna hear... When you give folks the REAL, they can't do anything but respect it... Love it or hate it...

'Til next time... XoXoXo

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Blood is Thicker Than Water... That's What Mr. Wizard Would Say, Anyway...

That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable.” 
― Deb Caletti

I actually wrote this over a year & a half ago as a Facebook note, & my day one Tenille recently reminded me of it... It's speaking to my spirit, ya'll...

How many times have you heard that saying??? "Blood is thicker than water..."  Uuuuum, I'm sure it is, duh!!! LoL... Take a seat, collect a sample of the two, and see for yourself... I mean, u can't deny it!!!
However, we use the phrase in reference to the difference in the bond between blood-related folks & non-blood related folks.  I've always understood the theory, but that doesn't mean I've always, or ever will, agree with it...

See, there's a bit of a "gypsy spirit" in me... ;) I am a firm & avid supporter of "free love"... Your ULTIMATE free-spirit, if you will...  There are folks who are born into this world and are raised by non-blood relatives... But, I'll BET you that if a blood-relative resurfaces, they would still ride-or-die with that non-blood realtive... Over time they've formed a bond that's strong enough to feel as if the same blood flows through their viens... That's a powerful bond...

You may not agree with me, but I believe that you can, in fact, create your family... This in NO way excludes your blood family, but over time, new family members are added... You care for them, love them, and RIDE with them 'til the end.  But be mindful that if that bond isn't a shared, mutual belief, you can end up very hurt.  In the event that a dispute occurs or there's a misunderstanding, that so-called "family" can turn into a distant stranger over night...  All of the characteristics and memories that you thought made your relationship so special become faded memories...

Don't be afraid to love and accept people for who they are... Take caution as you pass judgement on the situations that they may find themselves in, especially if you know GOOD & well you've been in that SAME boat... And REGARDLESS of that "family" status, be REAL enough to tell them when you think they're wrong and why you think they're wrong... And if at the end of the day, those folks you thought were family turn they're backs and jump ship, don't sweat it... You have more family than you think you do... :)

Like Tupac told ya'll, "You've gotta take the good with the bad, smile with the sad... Love what you've got & remember what you had..." Amen to THAT... One things for sure: I'll never turn my back on my family, no matter how RATCHET they are... And I don't think God would have me to be any other way...

'Til next time... XoXoXo