The Upgrade Experience

That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable.”  ―  Deb Caletti I actually wrote this over a year & a half ago as a Facebook note, & my day one Tenille recently reminded me of it... It's speaking to my spirit, ya'll... How many times have you heard that saying??? "Blood is thicker than water..."  Uuuuum, I'm sure it is, duh!!! LoL... Take a seat, collect a sample of the two, and see for yourself... I mean, u can't deny it!!! However, we use the phrase in reference to the difference in the bond between blood-related folks & non-blood related folks.  I've always understood the theory, but that doesn't mean I've always, or ever will, agree with it... See, there's a bit of a "gypsy spirit" in me... ;) I am a firm & avid supporter of "free love"... Your ULTIMATE free-spirit, if you will...  There are folks who are born into this w

"What if God were one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on a bus trying to make his way home???" - Chris Ramsey I'm a nomad...  I call myself that with a bit of reserve... I guess because when YOU read that, it damned near sounds like "homeless"... LoL... But, there's a back-story to that... When I left home for college at UAPB, I went into the dorms l;like most folks... During my sophomore year, my mama couldn't afford the room & board, so I was having to drive back & forth from Little Rock to Pine Bluff everyday & that just wasn't working for the kid... So, it was decided that I would move in with my boyfriend at the time (who later became my BABY DADDY & husband) to cut down on the stress of the commute...  And that was the beginning of it all... After college, we moved to Texas & every house we moved into was better than the last one... The last home that we owned was my favorite... It was on acreage &am

"Life is too important to take seriously." - Corky Siegel It's 1:32 am & I've been home about 20 minutes...  I'm text-beefing (which I stand STRONGLY against) with someone I car about...  I just ate some one's taco & they're probably gonna be PISSED in the morning... I'm listening to "My Heart Will Go On'" (wtf)... I'm in the clouds... And guess what??? All is right with the world... Sometimes, you just have to live a little...  If I spent EVERY waking moment worrying about my MANY trials in life, I'd be FUCKED... (Please excuse the language, but that word TRULY captures the essence of how I'd feel...)  I have to take moments in this life and just LIVE... Just enjoy the little things... Appreciating a good meal with even better company...  Having a drink and a laugh... Noticing the way that a man looks at me when I walk by him, just from the hint of my perfume... Hearing my daughter call me just to say, "Mama

"Top notch pros get the most not the lesser..." - Pimp C Yes, I gave you a quote from Plato in my last blog... And yes, I'm giving you some Pimp C this time around... Realness comes from all walks of life, my friends...  You can get a different bit of truth from all different corners...  You just have to be willing to accept it... I'm hard on guys... I know this without a shadow of a doubt... It's not that I'm mean or anything, I'm just a straight shooter... I call it out like I see it... I don't have time for games or foolery...  I set the standard from day ONE so there's no confusion as to how I roll or what my expectations are... And if that's too much, I politely show the door... Exit stage left... Simple... See, we become what we tolerate...  If you go into a situation with someone who's lying all the time, putting their hands on you, talking to you any kind of way, using you for your money, or any of that other monkey-shit, the

"Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge." - Plato I have been on my worst behavior... No lie... Like, in REAL life... I have been making some TERRIBLE choices... And it's not even that they're terrible choices, they're just choices that I've been making as a reaction to my emotions... Let's just say that they could be BETTER choices... See, I always tell y'all that when you know better, you do better... That's the honest-to-God-given truth... I know better... I mean, I have been down THROUGH there... I've seen some things, good & bad, over these 32 years that have led me to be an EXPERT on certain topics...  But some of these same experiences have led me to this place where I am now... This place of bad behavior... If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that I'm a FOOL with it... Daily... People see my posts & assume they know me... Can I blame them, though??? I'm the one postin

" Always remember that striving and struggle precede success, even in the dictionary." - Sarah San Breathnach I've become complacent...  I hate to admit it, but ya'll know I can't lie to you... Sometimes, we just get so used to dealing with the day-to-day foolery that we find ourselves stuck... Going through the motions each day, just hoping to make it to bedtime & get up to do it all over again tomorrow... That ain't living, my friends... That ain't living... This weekend, I've had to do a SERIOUS re-evaluation of some stuff... Yes, stuff... My attitude, my goals, my relationships, my approach, my values... I really could go on & on listing the randoms that I've mulled over these 3 days, but it all boils down to this: I want alot of things to go my way... Right now... But what am I doing to make these things happen? I'm a self-proclaimed "free spirit"... I pretty much just go with the flow... I like to do what I wanna

"We ALL got some ratchet in us..." - Lil' Boosie Yea, I started this blog out quoting Lil' Boosie... Why not??? That one statement from a country rap tune is more real than you even realize... Deep down inside of EVERYONE reading this is a little bit of ratchet... I can't imagine any of MY followers not knowing what the definition of ratchet is, but if there's anyone who may be a bit confused, check it out... Ratchet,when used in day-to-day vernacular, typically means out of control, dirty,"triflin," "ghetto", disrespectful, rowdy, violent, or obnoxious. It is also used in relation to people who are trouble-makers and gossipers. (From TransWiki Wiktionary) Now, you would be BOLD-FACED-LYING if after reading that, you can honestly say that there isn't a smidgen of ratchetness floating around somewhere inside of you... LoL... It's okay, boo... I promise... God knows your heart... Just be REAL about it... Accept it... Own it...

“It is wrong and immoral to seek to escape the consequences of one's acts.”  - Mahatma Gandhi It's been a minute, I know... Let me start by FIRST holding myself accountable for slacking up on my blogging "responsibilities"... LoL... For real, ya'll... Stuff has been kinda crazy, but that's no excuse for me to not provide you with my oh-so-realistic viewpoint on everyday living... Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the nitty-gritty... I hate for folks to throw rocks and hide their hands... I hate for folks to pass the blame all the damned time... I hate for folks to toss other folks under the bus because it's convenient for them...  I can't even front, I've done all of those things a time or two in my life time... Before I knew better... And when you know better, you what??? Do better... In my last blog, I talked about my move back to my hometown... Alot has happened since that last blog, my dear friends... ALOT...

"You can't have your cake and eat it, too..." That just sounds RIDICULOUS... Could someone PLEASE explain to me why anyone in the world would like to have some cake and not eat it? Seriously... Is it just gonna sit up for decoration? You're just gonna look at it? Makes no sense to me... Nothing worth having comes easily... That's for damned sure... There's a process that we must go through. We start from scratch, taking the different ingredients that life gives us & putting them all together... Every now and then, the recipe goes wrong... You know I'm not lying... TERRIBLY wrong... LoL... We just have to see what "unnecessary" ingredient we threw in the mix and remove it from the list... These past few weeks have been a blessing to me.  I'm back in my hometown of Little Rock & it's EVIDENT that my city missed me... ;) LoL... No, but seriously... I've been able to spend some quality time with my mother that was looooooooo

"It feels right. But its emotional. Saying goodbye to anything you've done that long is hard..." -Angela Ruggiero   Dear Foolery & Malarkey,   What a ride we've had together!!! In the beginning, I didn't know you all that well...  I mean, I'd see you around, doing your thing... Wrecking havoc, causing chaos & confusion, the usual... I always tried to keep my distance from you because of the damage I had seen you do, but you ALWAYS find a way to introduce yourself when least expected...   Oh, foolery!!!!!  The friendships you've damaged!!! You've always been able to disguise yourself so well & oftentimes, I let you slip on in without even knowing...  I let you get in my ear & fill my head with monkey-shit and before i even KNEW it, I was involved in beef & had ill-feelings that had caused irreparable damage... Foolery, you've been in the midst of me making some TERRIBLE choices and I see you for what you really are

"To be truly free and to grow in self-esteem, choose not to give up your growth, pursuit of fulfillment or happiness to anyone. Choose to treat yourself with dignity and proceed to move toward full love, wisdom, freedom and joy, knowing that you are the authority over you." - Lilburn Barksdale One thing that I HATE to hear women tell other women is, “As long as you’ve got that between your legs, you should never be broke.” Especially older women saying that to younger women… Coming up, I heard that phrase & thought, “I HEARD THAT!!!!” Hell, I didn’t know any better… Not saying that I acted on that saying, but I got what they were saying…Or I THOUGHT I did… It’s all about our “womanly wiles”… Bat your lashes, smile& let your dimples show, lean in a little closer, let him smell your perfume… The little things that reel them in and get them eating out of the palm of your hand. Ok, ok, ok… I am VERY guilty of ALL of the above… But when it gets to the point of buss

"Spring shows what God can do with a drab & dirty world..." - Virgil Kraft   I absolutely LOVE spring… I mean, I honestly countdown the time from the end of fall to the beginning of spring. Something about this season renews my spirit. All the woes & worries of a cold, dark winter fade away into a blissful light of hope & possibility… In the mornings, when I’m heading to work, I can’t help but to TRULY appreciate the little things… Wet grass, birds chirping, folks out jogging or walking… Ok, I know that sounds lame, but it REALLY makes me smile!!! LoL… The flip side to that is how a little warm weather can make people do the FOOL… I’m talking about the WHOLE fool… No half-steppin’… Have you ever really stopped to peep how many couples break up around this time??? Folks are getting kicked to the curb left and right in pursuit of that warm-weather action… Sun shines & the world wants to show OUT… LoL… Yea, I’m laughing because ya’ll KNOW I’m not l

“I am in no mood to be deceived any longer by the crafty devil and false character whose greatest pleasure is to take advantage of everyone.” - Camille Claudel I am in a CONSTANT battle with my flesh… I’m not even gonna sit here and lie to you… It’s a DAILY struggle to “make good choices” (as my 4 yr-old daughter often says) & do what I KNOW I’m supposed to do.   This world is a straight BEAST & she will devour you whole if you allow her to… See, when folks think about “battling the flesh”, first thought usually goes to some sexual stuff… Now, don’t, get me wrong, I’m talking about that, too… But it’s MUCH deeper than that… I get suckered into worldly thoughts everyday… I sometimes look through old pictures & I miss my pretty house or my BMW… Yes, I just admitted that… Those are things of the WORLD… They were attained in a manner that pleased the flesh, so they had to GO because it did not please God… But on that same note, I snap back into the spirit realm &

"The supreme end of education is expert DISCERNMENT in all things... The power to tell the good from the bad, the genuine from the counterfeit, & to prefer the good & the genuine to the bad & the counterfeit." - Unknown I can't say it enough: DISCERNMENT IS KEY... Believe THAT... Discernment is the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure... Being able to look beyond and really SEE things and people for what & who they really are... This quality is key for survival in this world... Without it, we're just wandering around blindly, accepting any and EVERYTHING into our lives... I wouldn't DARE front like I'm the #1 authority on discernment... It's a subject that God continues to school me in DAILY... Ohhhhhhhh, when I look back over my life!!!!! Lawd, have mercy... LoL... I have accepted (AND participated in) a LOTTA foolery over the years... I have allowed people into my life who had NO business being in m

  "When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless.  But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishmnet that comes from knowing you are working to make things better." I hear people say time and time again, "Oh, I just feel so overwhelmed!!!!"  You know that feeling when you have sooooooooooo much stuff to do, but you just don't know where to begin.  Being overwhelmed is NO joke. My friend Twyla and I used to say all the time that we felt "underwhelmed"... We'd laugh about it at the time,but in reality the feeling was all-consuming...  It was knowing that we had so many thing to get done, whether in our personal life or career, but we didn't have the energy or motivation to do a damned thing... That's a terrib;e, terrible feeling... See, when your underwhelmed, all you want to do is tuck under some covers and zone OUT...  You don't want to deal with ANYTHING or ANYONE...  But what is that attitude going

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” - Catherine Ponder I have been lying to myself... BOLD-FACED lying, at that... That is NOT what's hot... Things happen to us in this life... Sometimes, REALLY jacked up things happen to us in this life... But hey, that's the breaks... We have to take it all in stride...  The hardest thing is for someone to wrong us, we get upset, and say that we've forgiven them or whatnot... Yea, it SOUNDS good, but our actions tell a different story. While I've been notorious for being the "Queen of Detachment", I'm also good at being the "Queen of Acting Out"... Hell, I'm getting too old for that foolery...  See, something can happen to me & I'll say I'm fine... But AFTER the fact, I do some crazy shit without even realizing until later WHY I

“Optimism is the most important human trait, because it allows us to evolve our ideas, to improve our situation, and to hope for a better tomorrow.” ~ Seth Godin Hello, my loves...  I pray that 2013 has been a blessing to you thus far... It's just the beginning, baby!!! Soooooooo, I've got a question for u... What's the first thing that you think about when you wake up in the morning????  Be honest, now... I'm gonna wait on it...  Alot of you WANT to say that the first thing you think is, "Thank You Lord for another day", but you and I know GOOD and well that's the not the case... C'mon, now... Typical early morning thoughts include: "Damn, I don't wanna go to work today!" "Uuuuuuugh, I don't wanna get out of this bed..." "Oh shit, is my light bill due today?!?!?!" "How much gas is my car???" "Uuuuuuugh, I hate my life..."  Do any of those sound familiar??? I'm just sayin', you ain&