The Upgrade Experience

Yep, I said it... I'm finally stepping down... The "Queen of Detachment" is no more... *sighs* detachment [dɪˈtætʃmənt] n 1. indifference to other people or to one's surroundings; aloofness 2. (Psychology) freedom from self-interest or bias; disinterest 3. the act of disengaging or separating something 4. the condition of being disengaged or separated; disconnection I've always prided myself on my ability to detach myself from ANY situation...  I tried to look at it as a gift & a curse, but all along it was only just a curse...  It was my defense mechanism, my way of protecting myself from getting hurt.  All along I was hurting myself more and even worse, hurting people who cared about me. I guess you can peg it as the "love 'em & leave 'em" syndrome...  I'd let people get close, whether for a brief moment or a designated season, and just like THAT I'd detach myself completely... I mean, no phone

"I am equipped with the skill, the knowledge, and the ability to carry out the life assignments I've been given..." - Iyanla Vanzant There isn't a single person reading this that hasn't doubted themselves at some point in life... And if you say that you haven't, you're telling a bold-faced lie... ON a Sunday... You may have doubted your competence on your job or in school... You may have doubted your place or importance in a relationship... You may have doubted your worth as a human being... Either way, you've doubted yourself on some level.... See, the thing about self-doubt is that it's like a sore... A nasty-a** festering sore... It starts out as a small nuisance,  a thought at the back of your mind.... When untreated or unacknowledged, that little sore becomes a bigger sore... Those negative, self-doubting thought begin to come to the forefront of your mind... Before long, that sore is infected and everyone can see it... Your self-doubt

"Honesty is the best policy..." So they say... Who came up with that saying, anyway?  We're taught that as little kids... "Always tell the truth." It sounds easy enough, right?? But you & I BOTH know that honesty is a double-edged sword... It can shine light on a situation or it can completely tear a person down...  I've had my share of "less-than-honest" moments... That's a cute way of saying that I've told a few lies in my time... LoL... Hell, I'm not gonna sugar-coat a THANG... The thing about a lie is that you have to remember that bullshit... Ain't nobody got time for all that... One lie leads to another & before you know it's a landslide of lies... No bueno... The thing with the truth though is that people can't always handle it... The truth can be very hurtful sometimes. People say that they want it, but when they get it they don't know what to do with it... There have been some moments lat

Well, well, well... My favorite day of the year has rolled around once again... Thanksgiving Day 2012... Thanksgiving has always been my favorite day of the year, every since I was a child... Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I miss NO meals... LoL... Real talk... Folks are always saying, "Give it to Jennifer... She'll eat it..." And I usually do (which has gotten my stomach in trouble one too many times...)  As I've gotten older, I've come to realty appreciate this day for more than a day of intense eating without guilt... Yea, I know it's all about the pilgrims & Indians & whatnot, but I believe in TRULY embracing the "thankfulness" aspect of this day... When I woke up this morning, I was feeling some kind of way... I was comforted by the fact that I was in the bed between my two babies, but I was slightly saddened at the realization of changes that have taken place. Change, no matter how necessary, can sometimes be unsettling. As I got up

"We'll be cool as long as you just play your part..." I love to listen to that song on Rick Ross' "Ashes to Ashes" album... "Play Your Part"...  Pretty self-explanatory, right??? You'd think so, but it's amazing how quickly people get confused as to where their place is in this life that we live... It's unsettling to see people that you are close to or were once close to overstep their boundaries in certain situations.  I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but some folks just run out...  See, I know who I am... I'm Jennifer... Mother of 2 beautiful babies... Employee of the school district... Survivor... Friend... Soror... Daughter... Sister... Blogger... Ex... Future... Character... LoL... I'm ALL of that, honey... I have no right to tell anyone else how to live their life or to pass judgement on what they have going on... Now, I'll never front like I haven't done that before... I've done alot o

Friends... HOW MANY OF US HAVE THEM??? These days, I hear females refer to any and everyone as their "friend"... Folks that they just meet they turn right around and introduce them as their "friend"... Do WHAT?!?!?!  How do you figure that???  That sounds ridiculous... Don't get me wrong... There's nothing wrong with being friendly... Shoot, I'm HELLA friendly... I strike up a conversation WHERE EVER I go... At the post office, the grocery store, the nail shop, the gas station... Whenever, wherever baby...  Friendly as ALL get-out... But I'm wise enough to know that these random people are NOT my friends... They are merely acquaintances... Associates, you could say... At the end of the day, I don't know them from Adam and they really don't know me... This same concept goes for this Facebook and Twitter foolery.  Folks peep your profile and SWEAR they know you and that ya'll are friends... Now, this is true for some of your FB folks

Everyone has to move on sometimes... From something... You graduate for preschool... Guess what? You move on to Kindergarten... You graduate from high school... GUESS WHAT??? You move onto the big leagues, either college or LIFE... At the end of the day, you're still moving on... Awwwww, Rover passed??? Your pet for the past 9 years?!?!? Guess what??? You gone have to move on, boo... You lost your job??? Too bad, so sad... Get ready to... wait for it... MOVE ON... There are other jobs out there, I promise. It's always sad for relationships to end.  Someone or both people end up walking away hurt... But at the end of the day, you've gotta move on... Point. Blank. Period.  People move at different speeds in this life... I know some folks that jump from one relationship to the next like it's NOTHING... Hey, if they like it, I love it... Some dwell on that love lost and let it make them turn absolutely bat-shit crazy... Hey, if that works for them... (Which obviously it d

"When you assume, you make an ass out of ME and YOU..." How many times have you heard that expression???  I used to get SOOOOO tickled when Stella would say that to me... I'd just look at her like, "What?!?!?"  I didn't quite get it then... Oh, but NOW, a sista gets it... Loud and clear... Except there's no ass being made out of ME when YOU assume... You're just making an ass out of yourself... It's so easy to look at a situation from the outside and make an assumption... Assumptions based on nonsense... On gossip or lies that you've heard... Or assumptions based on stereotypes... For example, you may look at my current situation and ASSUME that I'm going "through"... LoL... You may assume that I committed an unforgivable act... You may ASSUME that times are hard...  You may assume that I'm just another pretty face that had a man who spoiled her rotten and now I just don't know WHAT to do with myself... STOP ASSU

It's been a long time... A loooooooong time, folks... I've missed ya'll... There have been moments when I've been sitting here looking at my computer YEARNING to blog, but not knowing how or where to even begin... Why was is SO hard for me to just say what needs to be said??? I know why... I had to wait on GOD to release me from certain ways of thinking and certain ways of life... Ooooooooh, Lord I just thank You for the spirit of discernment... When I last left you, I was residing in Texas... Living in my big, beautiful house & driving all my nice little cars... And know as I write this, I'm sitting in a classroom in Pine Bluff, AR where I've been living for over a year now... I would've NEVER thought I'd be back here... Ever... LoL... No lie... My mode of transportation? A little body Honda Accord just like the one I bought when I first moved to Texas... Ironic, huh?? See, what it all boils down to is that God had to bring me back-to-the-basi